Salam and Hi blogger !
Its been so long since my last update. I'm so sorry. I was about to update before but yeah. Things just don't get right and my mood was so unstable and I was so not in the condition to update. But I'll try to frequently update okay?
As I said, many things happened lately (which is the "not okay" things). I was so nervous ( sebab bila I sakit hati, I will be that way. I just don't know why). Let me tell you one by one, slowly and neatly.
I've been crushing these one guy since long ago. Before I knew Zahir. But the crush things turns to be "love" since I and him together (just a month). And surprisingly, sampai sekarang, I can't move on. Sometimes (Liar. All the time), I kept asking myself, why did I love hime? Why did I want more attention from him? Why did I want to be with him for a long time? Why am I that stupid to feel this way? His eyes, his words, his smile. Everything.
Maybe you guys are wondering, who the hell is this guy? Well, all I can say is, he's the type of guy "Bila dia nak, dia cari. Bila dia dah jumpa lain, dia buang". But still, I keep hoping to be with him. Why? I just don't know why (Just... Don't ask me. I don't even have the answer)
Move on? I tried and I'm so moving on with all these crap feelings. But at the time I was so not into him, he came. Just came. And go. And yeah. Repeat. For 3 years. 3 years I've been treated like this! (Im so going to cry. But I can't even cry!)
What should I do? I've done everything (like everything to make him stay with me). But I just can't. "You tempat persinggahan I while I'm looking for my love" (I was like that to him).
Talk to him? Tell the truth? I've done it guys. You wanna know the answers?
"Lets try harder". "Make me stay". "Ikat I". (WHAT??????)
I just need him to stay. Just stay. Look at me. Be with me. Know me. Treat me. Love me. Like real one. Thats it.
But I can't huh? I knew it.
But guys, you know me well. I can handle this. He's not the only guy in this world. Like, not the real one for me (I hope so). I'm just hoping that he'll think of me everythime he find his "new love". (EVERYTIME)
And the best part is, he's not even with me when I'm at my worst. SO yeah. He don't deserve my best. All the things I've done with hime, all the words I've said to him and all the love I gave him, I'm so menyesal. Real menyesal. I'll try to move on and don't worry. I will (Even kena deal dengan hati yg sangat nervous nak matey).
Till then guys!
p/s : I'll try to update selalu okay? Love ya gals!
