#TujuhBelas

Hi and I'm back earlier than expected right?

I told you that I am going to make myself start writing as I used to be. This is the first step. *Ihopeitwilllast

Okay. As you guys know, I have some trust issues. I mean, I have lots of good friends which is I am very grateful. But in this one thing, I just don't trust people, which is about myself.

Many would say and I am pretty sure you've heard about it. They said "If you have something, share with your friends or share with someone. Talk to them. Don't keep it to yourself" etc.

The thing is, I don't have that "someone" for me to share what I am having or went through right now. I have thousands of things play in my mind and I swear, I do really want to talk with someone about it, but I just can't. Okay. I do have this really good friend. Like, literally, she's the only person I trust. You can say that I am going this harsh mean world because of her that always stay with me no matter what.

But you know? Self problem. *tryingnototcryguys

Okay. Let me just pour it here, can I?

I have been gone through with harsh, mean word from others since I was young. Since I was in my primary kindda era? They always look down on every single thing I did. But when another person did exactly the same thing I did, they were highly praised. Have you guys felt that?

I always try my best to do something that I really like. I really really like writings. I like coloured things. I like arts. I like photography. I like production kind of thing.

But

Every time, I did that, people around me will

"Apa ni Ati. Tak cantik"
"This is not professional"
"Kalau ni dah ke laut, apa lagi yang ni"
"Kena banyak kena ni tau? Kau macam boleh"
"Aku tak percaya do kalau kau yang buat."
"Jangan lah macam ni. Ish. Bagi orang lain lah buat"
"Orang lain elok je. Sampai kau, hancur"

Then can you fucking tell me how instead of this? I tried my best here. I tried my really best on everything cause literally, everything I did was what I like.

Not just that, I do always here this often

"Kau buruk. Takyah lah"
"Kau tak lawa, gemuk. So jangan berangan. Bukan untuk kau"
"Kau boleh ke? Kau dah lah gemuk"

*And all those harsh words and "jokes" that I think you can imagine*

I've been dealing with these since I was young. I used to write blogs for a long time right? But I had to delete all my post because of something. And right now, I'm feeling that I just want to sleep and do nothing because literally, nothing fits me really well. All these words, makes me feel "Ohh. I live for nothing. There's nothing I can do".

I used to share these things with someone "Adult" before. Ohh. Don't get me to start whats happened next. Basically, the conclusion from sharing with a few people is

"Kena percaya diri sendiri dulu"
"Kau yang fikir negatif"
"Biar lah orang nak buat apa. Belajar je elok elok"

What else can I do? Can someone really help me? I don't think so. I mean, this thing is not a big problem because there's more person outside who deal with bigger problem right?

I can handle this. For now... I am really okay :)

#EnamBelas

Welcome back post!

Its been a veryveryveryveryvery long time since my last update here. Same excuse, same reason as I used to gave, "I'm busy". "I don't have time to update". "I got some issues between myself" etc. Bear with me and my group of excuse guys.

So, in my head, there's a lot of things I want to share with. But yeah. I end up writing anything my finger lead my keyboard to.

Many things have happened lately. Maybe because I have not upgraded myself yet or am I a lame person? I felt like everyone is so good at doing things. Maybe just my inner thought. I don't know. I don't want to care. *causeIwillbecomesupersensitive.

Okay. Let me just start to share with you guys slowly as I try to make the "points" inside my head right now.

Well, let's start with.....

My love life! hahahahhahaha. It's funny that I don't really felt sad or heartbroken or depress. Ohh! I just broke up with my five years boyfriend in February. I don't want to put blame on him or myself *cause obviously, it's not my fault tho. So,, what should I say our current situation now?

Are we not in good terms? I don't think so.

Are we are trying to get back together? Strictly no. Because I learn my lesson.

Are we kindda of "best friend already"? No. Because I don't think I am that kind-hearted to be friendly with him.

So, that's that. Past is past right? Surprisingly, after I broke up, I feel a little bit freedom which I can do whatever I want, I got to spend more time to hang out with my friends without checking phone that much, more money to spend on myself *I got to buy my own stuff and I felt so good!*. What else? Well. You know if you in the same situation as mine. And for now, I am not in the situation or whatever you call to look for a boyfriend. Ohh, dude. Let's just stop about this. Makes me cringe tho. Hahaha hahaha.

Next is, skincare!

I don't know, maybe it's time when you reach a certain age, you want to make yourself looks pretty with all those skincare because I started to feel that right now. I'm trying out a few types of skincare and I will change to other skincare after I finish my current skincare. Is this normal? I think it is. Because I'm a girl, duhh. And I think, I spent the quarter of my money to skincare and other stuff related such as cotton pad, tissues, etc. I just want to feel pretty and yeah. If you guys have followed my blog for a long time, you will know how "I don't like skincare" type of person I used to be. I don't know. Hahahhahahahaha.

I have to share you guys this one! I am so into vlogging currently. I just want to do it since I saw Johanis vlog. Since then, I started to do "what's in my bag" or "what's in my case" with my friends jokingly when I was in diploma years. Finally! I got to do and create my content for my youtube channel! *I am so excited guys*. Maybe I have to improve the way I create the content itself but for sure and I'll try my best to be one of your favourite vlogger one day.

And I think that pretty much to update you guys. It's basically big things that I started to do this year. I will keep you guys update often okay? Till then peeps! xoxo

#LimaBelas

Salam and Hi everyone!

So good to update the entry selang beberapa hari je. Kalau tak, makan berbulan jugak baru update. Good work wannur! Hahahahaha

Just some random post. Actually, harini sangaaaaaaaaaaat serabut. Why? Well, my online radio station is currently on a kampus tour and esok we will be leaving semenanjung to go Borneo country's. So, masalah dari segi transportation. Kita sangat jauh dari KL kan? Makanya, kena extra careful. Kalau tak, habis lah.

Okay. Lets get back to bussiness. Eventhough harini sangat serabut, but I feel so grateful sebab I can help my family today. Walaupun tak seberapa, tapi menitis juga airmata ku ini.

Kau kena faham. Aku buat dua keje currently. So, I have less time for myself. Mula mula rasa nak give up. Then something happend yang buat aku rasa "Oh. Aku patut berhenti belajar sekarang sebelum terlambat". But then, more good things happend yang buat aku "I should keep maintaning my result so that I can keep clean etc". So, as for now, aku belajar for my parents. I should repay them right?

Macam aku cakap sebelum ni, banyak sangat benda yang buat aku nak giveup dengan life ni. Aku boleh je duduk rumah, duduk dalam bilik, tido and bangun bila perlu je. I can do that tho. Sampai satu tahap, aku nak tido je. Aku tak nak jumpa sesiapa. AKu nak lari dari semua orang. But then, here I am. Keep living.

Once again, I'm not having any depression. (maybe not yet). I'm just having few conflicts with myself. Macam aku cakap, I feel everyone hates me. I pun benci diri sendiri. Tapi tu lah. I'm a semicolon situation right now. I can stop, but I choose to move on.

Okay. Dah stop merepek banyak sangat. Banyak lagi kerja yang panggil ni.

Till then!

#EmpatBelas

*fuhh fuhh* *uhukuhuk*

Ohh. Hi evelibodi! Long time no see kan? Hahahahahahahhahahahaa. Bukan tak nak update, tapi atas few reasons yang tak boleh dielakkan. And kalau boleh, aku nak elakkan alasan "busy" atau "susah nak update" or "Aint got no time". No no no. So, konklusinya, let just me know the reasons. I'm back peeps!

Still tak lambat nak say, Happy New Year! Im twentytwo olredi. sigh.

Actually, recently, Im having a very hard time. And, currently, I am recovering myself by doing lots of useless or not worthy thingy. Bukan depress ye. Im just having very hard time now.

How does it feel? It does feel so bad. Hilang self confidence sangat teruk tau? Aku rasa like everyone hates me, I annoy everyone a lot. I feel, semua orang tak sedar yang aku wujud, I feel that I can't do anything useful anymore, I feel like semua orang melarikan diri dari aku.

I does feel like you are trap in this one dark room then you dapat keluar dari bilik gelap tu tapi orang dekalat luar bilik tu doesnt even care if you hilang dalam bilik gelap tu. I do feel that way.

I got sick a lot whenever I feel bad. Im at my worst condition. Setiap malam, I suddenly cry a lot. Then I rasa sakit. Then after few hours, baru tido. Thats why I love my room so much.

I don't know why am I behaving like this. Sebab aku bukan macam ni. Mungkin sebab aku banyak berfikir? Or maybe because the problems that I am facing, kan? I really need to be good.

Ada yang fikir, "kenapa tak cerita dekat orang lain?" "Kenapa tak cerita dekat parents?"

Look, I have some issues yang buat aku tak cerita apa pun dekat orang lain including my parents on what I am facing or having right now. Sebab bagi aku, ni masalah aku, diri aku, I can settled it by my own.

One thing I am thankful, I am so good on "endure". And I do better time by time.

I'm trying to start writting balik now. You know that writting has been with me since I was 12:) So, yeah. I think I can do this. 

So, I'll  to update often. I promise to try.

Wish me to keep living..

Till then!

#TigaBelas

Assalamualaikum and Hi evelibodi!!!!!

Wehh! Rindu gila nak update entry. Lama sangat tak update entry wehh. Dah tukar Perdana Menteri dah pun Malaysia ni. Baru timbul kesedaran nak update entry. Lama gila kan?

Aku tak nak bagitahu kenapa aku tak update after so long sebab korang akan baca alasan yang sama macam "takda masa", "banyak masalah dalam kepala", "Balik keje terus penat" and macam macam yang korang boleh fikirkan. Nak tahu tak? Punya tukar habit untuk rajin update tu sampai aku install phone diari tau dalam phone? Tapi phone diary tu pun berhabuk sampai lah aku uninstall.

So, apa latest update dari aku? Okay. Firstly, everything the same. Tapi! Korang tahu how I love photography so much kan? Even, aku start blog ni pun sebab cita cita nak jadikan macam photoblog giteww. But its okay, its alright.

Okay. Sambung balik. About photography. Aku dah pun startup sikit sikit dalam bidang ni. Well, on weekends, aku jadi freelance photographer dengan team aku called "photogreater". Boleh lah. Photographer murah murah. Hahhahahaha.

At least, one of my side ambition tercapai kan? Cita cita lain? Hmmm. I don't know. Sekarang ni aku just harapkan, aku akan jadi apa sahaja in the future as long as aku ada kerja tetap yang boleh tolong aku. Nak harap masa dean cerah je sekarang. Lari bidang ke, kena kerja luar negara ke, I dont mind. Tu semua cerita belakang.

So, untuk entry kalini, aku taknak spoil kan mood dengan tulis cerita cerita yang boleh downkan susasana. Maybe next entry? Hahahhahaa.

Walaupun ramai orang dah tak pakai blogspot ni but I like this way more. Aku menulis, tapi yaa. You know what I mean? No? Okay. Hahahhaa


Till then peeps.
Bye!

#DUA BELAS

Assalamualaikum and Hai Bloggers!

  Sangat lama tak update. Dulu selalu berangan nak selalu update blog, make myself consistent or make some time to make sure I update every single thing that happend. But yeah. Terbukti aku tak boleh jadi novelis cerita cinta sebab cepat give up untuk menulis.

By the way, right now, I am a radio announcer. Its dekat online radio. Well, I just develop the talkative side of me. But still, akan a bit awkward or shy to built a small convo.

Anyway, back to the lane. I'm writting this to share you a story. And on this entry, I will share about OKU or kurang upaya.


Kalau dalam TV kan, ramai yang jadi "baik". Maksudnya? Bila tv ada shooting or dokumentari about OKU, ramai yang akan jadi macam "pijak semut pun tak mati". Ramai yang turun padang. Aku bagi contoh paling simple. Bila ada pasangan OKU dalam tren *lets just say pasangan ni sang suami buta and sang isteri hampir buta tapi masih boleh lihat tapi kurang*. Kalau dalam tv, bila pasangan ni dalam tren, akan ada manusia yang baik hati tolong teman dorang dari turun tren sampai lah ke tapak mata pencarian mereka. Pastu, bila pasangan ni habis and manusia ni habis waktu kerja, dia dengan baik hati tolong kemaskan barang pasangan OKU tu and teman sampai pasangan tu dekat dengan tren. Wow kan? Hakikatnya, cuma 0.0001 peratus je manusia yang macam tu. Gais, lets just face the reality boleh?

Let me make this clear. I'm not saying that I'm good enough or aku ni baik sangat seolah aku buat semua benda baik tu. No! Aku mengaku, diri aku sendiri selalu nampak pasangan yang macam tu bila dalam tren. What me, myself doing? Pandang je. Tengok je. Sangat gelapkan hati?

To be honest, I am so amzed with mereka yang OKU. Why? Sebab dorang sedar orang macam aku majoriti hidup dekat bumi yang sama dorang hidup. Sebab tu dorang boleh berdikari, cari duit untuk sara hidup and try tak bebankan orang lain. Dorang sedar, bila dorang minta bantuan atau hanya harapkan ehsan orang lain, cerita hidup dorang akan dipublishkan dan di surat khabarkan. Satu cara yang mudah untuk "manusia yang baik hati" dapat nama.

Aku selalu menangis bila ternampak mereka yang kurang upaya ni. Tak kisah lah mereka tu kurang siuman ke, buta ke, orag tua-tua ke. Kenapa? Because I can't force myself to help them. I was so dumb and selfish. I realised something about them. Its because walaupun mereka ni kurang upaya but they did manage to survived in this cruel word, in this so unfair lane.

And since that, I made few promises to myself. One day, I'll be able to help them. Memang lah takda sampai boleh buat mereka jadi jutawan but at least aku boleh kurangkan sikit beban mereka kan? Goodluck Wan Nur Izzati!

Till then!

#Sebelas

Salam and Hi blogger !

Its been so long since my last update. I'm so sorry. I was about to update before but yeah. Things just don't get right and my mood was so unstable and I was so not in the condition to update. But I'll try to frequently update okay?

As I said, many things happened lately (which is the "not okay" things). I was so nervous ( sebab bila I sakit hati, I will be that way. I just don't know why). Let me tell you one by one, slowly and neatly.

I've been crushing these one guy since long ago. Before I knew Zahir. But the crush things turns to be "love" since I and him together (just a month). And surprisingly, sampai sekarang, I can't move on. Sometimes (Liar. All the time), I kept asking myself, why did I love hime? Why did I want more attention from him? Why did I want to be with him for a long time? Why am I that stupid to feel this way? His eyes, his words, his smile. Everything.

Maybe you guys are wondering, who the hell is this guy? Well, all I can say is, he's the type of guy "Bila dia nak, dia cari. Bila dia dah jumpa lain, dia buang". But still, I keep hoping to be with him. Why? I just don't know why (Just... Don't ask me. I don't even have the answer)

Move on?  I tried and I'm so moving on with all these crap feelings. But at the time I was so not into him, he came. Just came. And go. And yeah. Repeat. For 3 years. 3 years I've been treated like this! (Im so going to cry. But I can't even cry!)

What should I do? I've done everything (like everything to make him stay with me). But I just can't. "You tempat persinggahan I while I'm looking for my love" (I was like that to him).

Talk to him? Tell the truth? I've done it guys. You wanna know the answers?
"Lets try harder". "Make me stay". "Ikat I". (WHAT??????)

I just need him to stay. Just stay. Look at me. Be with me. Know me. Treat me. Love me. Like real one. Thats it.

But I can't huh? I knew it.

But guys, you know me well. I can handle this. He's not the only guy in this world. Like, not the real one for me (I hope so). I'm just hoping that he'll think of me everythime he find his "new love". (EVERYTIME)

And the best part is, he's not even with me when I'm at my worst. SO yeah. He don't deserve my best. All the things I've done with hime, all the words I've said to him and all the love I gave him, I'm so menyesal. Real menyesal. I'll try to move on and don't worry. I will (Even kena deal dengan hati yg sangat nervous nak matey).

Till then guys!

p/s : I'll try to update selalu okay? Love ya gals!

#SEPULUH

Hi everyone!

  Its been so long. Sangat lama tak update entry dekat sini. *quite dusty here. Sorry sorry*

Okay. Aku rasa, aku dha bagithu awal awal kot dekat past entry yang aku akan SUPER busy since I was in my final year back then. Macam unbeliveable kan aku boleh survive dekat situ? Hahahah. *lepasbanyakkalideletepostdalamblogni*

Okay. Past is past. Currently, aku tengah praktikal or Im doing my trainee dekat Cheras jugak. Dekat dengan rumah and yeah. I save a lot here. So, here I am. Hahaha

Life? Life was okay even its a bit hard. Well, mana ada hidup yang tak susah kan? But, its okay. Stay in the positive vibes always. I dont give a shit. So, Im okay :)

And so far, I haven't achieved my big big big wishlist yet. Yang kecil kecil tu, alhamdullilah. I made it so far. And, it was my biggest achievement *for now*

So, yeah. Memang susah nak update blog sangat sekarang since aku busy dengan intern. Balik rumah, memang dah tak on laptop.

Itu je kot? Ohh! And I just view something like chart to see readers, and yeah. Thanks for keep waitng for my entry to be updated!

Write soon!

Bye.

#SEMBILAN

Assalamualaikum and HI!

       Right now, I am done with my teories final exams! So, tinggal amali and get settled all the final projects and I'm done with school (unpermanently sebab I still nak further studies).

    KV or Kolej Vokasional. Hmmm. Why did I choose  these mad programming classes dekat KV daripada pure science stream yang aku dapat dekat SMK dulu.

   When people ask me "Belajar mana?" and of course aku akan jawab KV. They will like "ohhh. KV" and keep asking some silly klishe question. Padahal dalam  hati "Budak KV. Tak pandai budak ni. Mesty budak problematic sangat ni".

   I'm telling you right now okay? Kalau aku pilih untuk stay dekat SMK, obviously aku akan study hard untuk jadi seorang doktor. OBVIOUSLY. Tapi, ingat senang ke? Result confirm akan buruk dan aku pun akan sakit hati tengok result aku. Daripada aku sakit hati tengok result aku and aku akan buat parents aku sakit mata tengok result aku, lebih baik aku masuk KV.

  Hey! Result PMR aku tak teruk okay? I'm still doing good sebab aku bukan target sekolah untuk dapat 2A dan ke atas. And I got 4A which is I don't really expect that. Can you even imagine? So, I  have decided sacrifice a bit of my time and choose KV.

   To be honest, siapa tak sakit hati bila ada orang tanya parents kau "ehhh. Anak sambung mana?" and my parents would say KV. And you'll know apa pandangan orang kan about KV?

  If you want to know, I struggle a lot in KV just to score my pointer and graduate. Thats it! Ingat senag ke belajar dalam KV ni? Parents will spend loads of money dengan KV yang macam macam tukar sistem, modul etc. I struggle a lot!

 

#LAPAN

PROGRESS

Assalammualaikum ang Hi.

  We meet again in this entry and as usual I don't know what to write or what things that I should talk about etc. Okay. I'll just be random and yeah.

  So, its already September and that means, I'll have about 2 months before I leave for my practical. I was excited and nervous and ohh. You can feel me, kan?

  Hey, can I ask you something? How will life would be if kita takda feeling. Tak faham? Maksudnya, apa je yang jadi, we don't even want to care. We don't feel nervous, we don't feel scared and so on. Why? Why do you have to be that way? I mean, tak bosan ke hidup kau?

  We got variety of people in this world. I told you that we have to learn people to understand them. Kalau kita tak faham karakter diaorang, how are we going to tolerate with them? Sampai bila asyik nak kawan atau bergaul atau get involved dengan orang spesen je dengan kita, betul? If we had to fake or pretend, then do it. Lama-lama kita akan faham. What benefits did you get from being heartless? Even sometimes, it hurts you when you get to know slowly about other people character tapi its good rather than being heartless. Thats what we call as learning, right?

*Okay. I don't know either you can understand this. KAHKAH*

  Okay. So recently, aku ada pergi satu event ni dekat Serdang. It was called as Light Sensation. Bunga rose LED dekat dalam garden. Sangat cantik, sangat romantik, sangat cool. Seriously. I was amaze with it. I'm in love. Hahaha. For those who love photography or vlog like me, that place was legitly awesome.

  Cantik kan? I told you it was beautiful tapi kalau nak ambik gambar selfie or jadi tukang ambik gambar orang, you have to use extra lighting. How? Phone ada torchlight kan? So, use that torchlight and set lah the placement of the lighting.

*baru perasan entry atas bahasa inggeris. Hahahaha*

Till then.

#TUJUH

CONFIDENCE

   Assalamualaikum gals! So, we meet again in this entry. So, I'm quite lazy too write a very long mukadimah for these very short entry. Lets just be straight.

   Confidence. Keyakinan diri. In my opinion based on my past experience, confidence is one of a character that you need to have inside you. Kalau takda keyakinan diri, memnag tak berjalan lah hidup kauorang, kan? Memang tak maju lah hidup kauorang and the worst part is, your life will be legitly boring!

Ada dua jenis manusia dalam skop confident ni.

Satu : Yang takda keyakinan diri.

Dua : Yang terlebih keyakinan diri.

  Yang jenis pertama ni. I've been through that situation. ALWAYS. Its is freaking hard and sometimes, you will feel like "let me die". I feel that. Cause I've been through that situation before. My worst ever. Macam mana? One of the factor is, people around you. Bayangkan, bila kau nak try something new, you want to learn something new, kau dah macam "Okay. I can do this. Everyone can do this", pastu tiba tiba ada orang jerit or perli or "Ehh! Salah lah. Dah. Kau tak payah buat" without even trying. Bila kau buat jugak, diaorang akan perhatikan kau macam "aduh! lambatkan kerja lah.". And trust me, kau memang tak suka tengok muka orang macam tu. Kau akan giveup and "okay. I'm done. I'm not good at anything". That is what happening on me.

     To those people who love to make others confident fade away, please stop. You're not the only one who is good at everything. Give them some space and time to fix theirself in. Kau tak mampu nak buat semua tu sorang sorang. Bila dah tak larat, kau marah orang tu as if like orang tu tak pernah ambik inisiatif langsung nak membantu. Stop being such a person. Its hard. Really. Just imagine if you in their shoes. Imagine if thats the only thing that they like and they believe they can do.

      And for those who are about to lose their confident, get up! You're not getting any benefits on it. Biar lah kita gemuk, pendek, tak cantik, gigi berterabur, banyak bulu roma etc, just be yourself. Try to make a change. Try to prove that you can. Be much better than them. Pedulikan apa yang orang nak cakap. Its all about you. Yourself. Trust yourself. Have faith on it.

     Faham? Aku pernah rasa semua tu and I'm not saying that my confident level are good now. No! Aku still belajar percayakan diri sendir. I tried everything! Just, keep trying. Never scared of falling down and never get tired to get up again and again.

Till then.

#ENAM

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

   Assalammualaikum! Hi! Its been too long I didn't post any updates here. Dari sebelum puasa sampai lah dah nak habis raya. Baru update. If you ask me why I haven't update for so long. The answer is too simple and too easy. BUSY. Legitly, I'm so freaking busy. I don't want to tell you what I'm busy with. Cause its just the same thing. Its a normal last year student things. So, I bet you can guess it, kan?

  Ohh. Syawal belum habis. Jadi, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Raya tahun ni, raya tahun kedua without Cikwan. And obviously, it is so lain. The feelings is still the same. You know how it feels when you celebrating something without your love one kan?

Okay! Stop with all the sadness. Life must go on kan?

   So, currently, I've just finished a shortfilm shooting for MBI and MBM shortfilm competition and it was my first attemp on writing scripts. Sangat lah awkward dan sangat lah... Ntah? Hahahahahha.

   I have to fully do the scripts in English and also I have to act. Alaa. Supporting role je. But its quite find and baru lah aku faham penatnya shooting film! Baru 10 minit punya film. Yang 2 jam punya? Drama yang 100 episod tu? I can feel it dohh. Tapi, I really enjoyed and nak join lagi. KAHKAH

   And, aku jugak tengah bertungkus lumus fikir macam mana nak start buat codings untuk final project. I don't know how to start, where to start and so on. Nak buat sendiri, memang ada potensi besar untuk membesarkan eyebag ni hah. So, I've decided to just use template tapi di customize kan sikit so that if anything, aku boleh jawab.

  Ohh. And last semester subject get tougher than before. Lots of things kena hafal, hafal dan hafal lagi. Haihhh. Sangat penat. But its okay. For grades and life, I'll face it.

So, tu je kot? Hahahaha.

Till then!

#LIMA

WELCOME MAY

    Hello May! May you be a very good month for me and others cause may is an exam month!

   I'm going through my second last final sem exam. Tinggal satu sem je lagi, then kita hoorayy! Gila tak sabar nak graduate sebab dah sangat tak larat nak study coding banyak banyak.

 Well, its kindda good thing actually aku ambik course yang aku tengah struggle sekarang. Sebab tak ramai orang yang ambik and yeah. Of couse i'm feeling lucky.

 And, this MAY, I am going to turn up 19 OFFICIALLY. Welcome to ninteen Wan Nur. You're in the age of being a teen(last year. Lepastu, ada angka 2 kat umur kau). Haihhh. So excited to be 19 and I don't even know why or how to speak out the reason. I'm just so excited.

  Maybe sebab, aku akan counting years nak kerja, nak settlekan semua angan angan bulan bintang aku tu. Maybe lah. Sebab dah ada duit sendiri, boleh fikir semua sendiri without menyusahkan your parents. Maybe sebab tu lah kot?

  Anyway, Happy Birthday in advance dearself. Be sweet always. Be happy. Be cheerful. Be wonderful. Be amazing. Be the best for in your photography and make sure to gain at least 80% of your goals sweetie.

  And of course, goodluck in exam gals! Jawab leklok. Study betul betul walaupun last minute (Gang last minute. Fuhh! *highfive*) May everything gonna be okay, okay?

Till then!

#EMPAT

TAK BOLEH CHILL

      Hey. I just drop by here. I'm fucking stress with all of these system projects. With these lappy software problems, with all of these system fuction  yang tak jadi. Arrghhhh! Stress gila seh.

    Tak cukup dengan stress pasal final project ni, come out satu lagi masalah which is so remeh but certain people make it looks like masalah yang sangat besar.

   Ohh well. To "these" people,  I just want to say thank you for all of your word towards all people. Why should I care about you? Why should I jaga your perasaan? You don't even mind mine. So what? Expecting you're the only one who have that sad, anger feeling? Well, you can get lost of it.

   Kau boleh bawa semua orang pergi jauh dari aku dengan muka simpati kau .

   Kau boleh bawa semua orang pergi jauh dari aku dengan perkataan tipu yang keluar dari mulut kau.

I don't mind. Lets see for how long that you can stay. I won't care any about you.

You have your own life. I have my own life. They have their own life. So, why are you bothering their life? Why are you bothering my life? Messing up my head with all your doings lah shit?

You talk like you know me well. VERY WELL. Lepastu, kau cerita dekat semua? Huh? Apa masalah kau ni? You're not even been in my shoes.

Ohh well. Like I said earlier. I don't care now. Just keep on doing apa yang kau buat sekarang. Keep on. I won't mind. I have better much work to do dari serabutkan kepala dengan fikir masalah kau je.

I was there when you at your worst. I was there when you feel lost. I was there when you're nothing.. Apa yang kau buat dekat aku sekarang?

#TIGA

PERFECTION

    Hi everyone! Its kindda long time since I've updated entry here. I'm really sorry. I was quite busy with problems and assignments (normal student life kan?).

   So, today. Perfection. Sempurna. Well, recently, I've been walking to my mom new workplace kat Sentul. And nak pergi situ, memang kena jalan kaki (tak jauh pun. So, jangan membazir). As I was walking on the side road, aku lalu dekat satu sekolah agama ni. Kids are everywhere. Baru balik sekolah kan? Aku baru perasan, ada seorang lelaki ni. Well said, he was not perfect like us. But, he try his best to please those kids. He was nice. Dia jaga lalu lintas kat depan sekolah tu. Bila that road dah clear, dia suruh budak tu lintas (with bahasa isyarat). Bila dah takda budak yang nak lintas, that man pun gurau dengan those kid which is so nice.

   Another incident is, I was at these one food place dekat KL Sentral. There was a women yang buat with her small daughter. Mula mula tak perasan. Bila nak basuh tangan tu, baru nampak yang diaorang tengah pegang food yang diaorang order untuk duduk. Nasib baik, akak yang ambik order diaorang tu baik hati and have help theM. I was about to cry looking at them. Makan bubur. That women tersenyum-senyum. Mungkin gembira sebab dia dengan anak dia.

    Okay gals. From these, kita boleh conclude and I think, kauorang pun boleh fikir. Kekurangan kita, pelengkap kelebihan orang lain, betul? Macam positif negatif. Macam kebaikan dan keburukan. Advantage and disadvantage. Saling melengkapi.

    Everyone must have their own kekurangan. EVERYONE. Sedar dengan tak sedar je. So, we as a human being should respect others. Sebab, kita bukan selalu dekat atas kan? Bila kita jatuh, maybe orang orang yang "imperfect" tu yang akan tolong kita. They have a very noble heart.

      It was a good incident for me. I learn from that. Jangan pandang rendah dekat orang. Jangan taksub dengan orang. Setakat puji biasa tu boleh lah. Self motivate kan? Please love yourself. Because you're fine just the way you are. Kita tak boleh buat A, kita boleh buat B. Orang lain boleh buat A, tapi tak boleh buat B. Faham?

Till then

#DUA

SAYANG

"Its been a long time without you my friends~" (p/s : sorry for these very antique photo girls)

       We're far far far apart. Seorang dekat terengganu. Seorang dekat Sarawak and yeah. I'm the only one whose stuck dekat dalam negeri. Well, can't make any complain now sebab it was my decision dulu. Hahaha

      Hey, actually, I start thinking about us. Our old precious memory together. Kita menangis sama sama. Kita ketawa sama sama. Kita marah. Kita merajuk. Kita gila. Kita stress. Kita mengeluh. We did everything together. WE USED TO. And, I started to cry thinking about all those memories (haha. sorry. deep inside me, I'm so weak dude)

        Aku faham yang kita semua dah jauh. Dah jumpa kawan baru. Jumpa kehidupan baru. Hahaha. Aku pun macam tu. Can't deny it. But none of them were like you both. You both were at my worst before. Dari aku jahanam habis dulu, sampai aku macam nie. Tempat aku berdiri sekarang.

       Nabilah, ingat lagi tak masa form 3 yang kita ponteng koko and pergi bank tu. Hahahah. Then kita beli phone kau tu? Ingat tak? Hahahha. And you're the first person yang hadiahkan aku tudung. You're the one who start to turn me this way. Hahahaha

      Fatin, ingat lagi tak yang aku selalu duduk rumah kau and kita selalu makan waffle peanut chocolate tu? Kucing kau yang suka terkinja gedik sibuk nak kejar kaki aku tu? That time aku selalu jerit, macam nak menangis sebab aku sangat takut dengan kucing. Ingat tak? And yeah. You are the only person yang langgar semua susah senang aku. I really really owe you something in life weh. Hahahah

  Seriously. You both were at my worst. My really worst. (Oh my. I'm about to cry).

      Well, Im sorry sebab this entry will not able to make both of you to cry. And I didn't put any hopes or expect something from both of you. But trust me. Both of you akan start ingat our past memories. Hahahhaa. Problematic kan kita dulu wehh?

     Ingat satu benda nie, be strong for what you akan one day. I won't be able to be with you always (for now) but do remember that I'll always be by your side. Bukan belakang, bukan depan tau? Ohh! And cari kawan, jangan yang banyak masalah dan degil dan macam-macam lagi yang macam aku tau. Hahahaha. Yang suwitt macam aku takpa.

 Take care always tau :) (I'm crying. Aaaaaa. This is shit "blog tak boleh emoji") Call me whenever you need me. I'm always here tau :') Love ya!

Till then.

#SATU

FRESH START

      Hi. As you can see, this is my very first entry for these fresh new looks. Bukan tak sayang, tapi life must go on kan? There's a reason for what I've done to these lovely media book. For ages aku tak update any entry kat sini. I'm really really sorry. To be honest, many things happened recently and its kindda huru hara, kelam kabut or whatever yang kau panggil. Its totally a mess sampai takda masa nak layan blog. With all those ICT projects, problems etc (macam berat je) So, lets start all over again?

   Aku rasa, aku tak perlu kot nak kenalkan nama, umur or any basic "pengenalan diri" tu sebab kau sendiri dah boleh nampak all those things dekat blog nie.

  I'll try my best to frequently update dalam blog ni since itu dah masuk dalam list 2016 aku. I'll try to make it interesting entry by entry okay?

  Till then.